Another year passes, and will soon be consigned to dusty annals of forgotten defeats, faded triumphs and lost relationships.

So ring out the old, ring in the new, ring, happy bells, across the snow.
The year is going, let her go.

Ring out, ring out the old and ring in the new.

Back from a gargantuan dinner which left me considerably happier, and heavier too I suspect.

I have less than two hours to finish off whatever I still have left undone this year.

But I think I am going to spend it lying on my bed.

I'll be off for dinner in about half an hour's time, and the next time I will be returning would be sometime next year.

And okay fine, my split personality wins. L'pool do have five European titles to Man Utd's two, and they did come from three goals down to win their fifth, and latest, title.

Also, their last treble came in 2001, two years after Man Utd's. It consisted, if I am not wrong, of the Uefa Cup, FA cup and uhh the league.

cup.

ninety-six.

school starts in three days.

ahh wells, while i admire my split personality's courage to compare current standings, i would like to remind him that the last english team to win in europe was liverpool. also, the last english team to win the FA cup was liverpool. alas, chelsea spoilt it all by sweeping the league.

wait a minute, the last trophy man u won was the league!

cup.

Uggh, this is the last day of the year and we are only on our 95rd post ! Which means that We have about, twelve hours for four more posts.

Anyway, on a more cheerful note .... Chelsea drew !

Liverpool and Manchester both got the wins they needed, so my split personality and I will probably be happier for what is left of the year.

Although I suspect i might be a wee bit happier, because Liverpool are currently still ..... ( refer to previous post) . =)

Yay I got my laptop back ! Good bye to languishing in boredom with nothing to do and hello to, uhhh. Languishing in boredom.

Anyway, when I learned about this website, the first title I typed in was, unsurprisingly, The Importance of Living, by a certain LinYutang. And it turns out that only one member of LibraryThing has it. One.

Absolutely scandalous.

I like my split personality's admirable online rendition of 'You'll Never Walk Alone'.

I would also like to remind him that Liverpool are currently a mere 16 points away from the team at the top of the table, which happens to be....

Oh. Manchester United. =)

When you walk through a storm
Hold your head up high
And don't be afraid of the dark
At the end of the storm
Is a golden sky
And the sweet silver song of a lark

Walk on through the wind
Walk on through the rain
Tho' your dreams be tossed and blown
Walk on, walk on
With hope in your heart
And you'll never walk alone
You'll never walk alone


Walk on, walk on,
You'll NEVER walk alone...

While i am not too particularly eager to countdown to the new year and what come may, i am counting down to another milestone in 3 days.

looking back at the past year, 2006 hasn't been that a memorable year as it should have been. what do i remember about it? not much...maybe the only thing i can take away is that i've learnt to cherish people more.



move on? move on your si nang tao la

When one is absolutely bored, as I was earlier today because my com chose the most inappropriate time to act up and crash, it is interesting to note who actually visits one's blog.

That a sizeable amount of hits is credited to, yours truly, is no big shock, since I suspect that my split personality and I are the blog's biggest fans, something, which rather unfortunately, is unlikely to change anytime soon.

I also found out that the blog was viewed thrice by someone in India in the last month, and once by someone in Canada, which is slightly more interesting news. I can only assume that my friend in India is similarly bored and has to resort to blog surfing to alleviate his boredom, but as for the one in Canada, I cannot think of anyone there whom I know and would visit the blog. I suppose that it must be a random Canadian who happened to stumble upon this blog, although it is rather embarassing to note that he has never returned since. But feel free to correct me if you happen to be the one from Canada and you happen to know me. or my split personality.

After being unceremoniously dumped out of my own blog, i am back with a vengeance. not.

it seems that a earthquake in south taiwan has killed two, and if that isnt shocking enough, damaged undersea cables and the internet. yes, the internet.

oh well, my christmas went alright, i guess im becoming sorta luke-ish recently, more of that when im really back with a vengeance.


not.

And all i want for Christmas is.....





Not telling.

'Twas the night before Christmas

I feel compelled to post a little more than usual this week, because I probably will not have much time after school starts.

Christmas is two days away, and I can't wait for all this eager anticipation to blow over and culminate into, yet again, indifferent disappointment.

On another note, my split personality is currently being kept out of his own blog, because I erroneously upgraded this blog to the new version using my gmail account. This means that he has a legitimate excuse to slack and not post, while I have to shoulder the dual responsibility of posting and figuring how to change the blog back to its old self. If anyone has any ideas on how I can revert back to the old version, that would make for a nice Christmas present.

I am back in Malaysia for what is left of the holidays, and I will hopefully be able to start on my EE.

As strange as it may sound, I am actually glad for the holidays, even if the better part of it was spent lying on bed. Plus, Christmas, which has always been my favourite time of the year, is coming soon, and this year's festive season has been spiced with the thrill of scouring Orchard Rd for bargains with my friend after kettling for Salvation Army. If that doesn't ring any bell for you, that's fine, because I have been doing just that for the past week, and trust me, it is not very pleasant at all.

Anyway, I figured that the most delightful aspect of getting anything is the anticipation. Stuff on display always look very good until the moment you pay for it and bring it back home, at which it ceases to interest you as much as you swear it did.

In the same way, I suppose, some things have ceased to interest me anymore, simply by being there again, after a long absence. I don't know if I am being fickle, although I suspect that this affliction is more widespread than it seems. Maybe it is hard-wired into the human psyche to strive for anything out of reach, but whatever it is, some things have become a lot less tantalising than it seemed, three weeks ago.

I am feeling strangely liberated because what I had wanted an awful lot for the better part of the year isn't really what I made it out to be. If anyone tells me whether this is a good thing, I will be infinitely obliged to you.

It gives me a great deal of satisfaction to note that this blog is actually fully functioning, despite the fact tha we are now on holiday. Anyway, it puzzles me that some blogs claim to be on a hiatus due to the holidays - I was always under the impression that you can blog more during the hols since you have nothing else to do, but oh, clearly I was wrong.

Went out yesterday, and although the occasion itself was pretty good, I didn't really have much fun. I think sometimes you find yourself at crossroads, having to take one but always wishing you took the other.

I guess that when you reach a fork, you have to take it.

ali G...hell yeah!

Ali G to some homeland security prof dude

"Could it be possible to work with the terrororist to say: yo here's a building we gonna demolish anyway, go have your fun with it and do whatever you want...just dont touch the other ones"

"Why does you let terrororists fly on the same plane as normal passengers? Why dont you arrange separate flights for terrororists, so if they gonna do this terrible stuff yea, let them ruin their own trip."

"Let's talk about in the airports...you know those machines that beep when you is got coins in your pocket, why dont they develop a machine that beeps if you was carrying a gun?"

"Does they use dogs in airports? Aint the problem though that ninety-nine percent of dogs cant speak english, so how does they let you know who is carrying a bomb?"

It turns out that my previous statement about LinYutang books in print was a gross mistake. I had quite a surprise when a friend told me about having a copy of another one of his book, published some time back, and it was not one of the three I had in mind (which were re-published by Cultured Lotus). I really wasn't expecting to get anything on that list ( which is what Christmas lists are for, since there is absolutely no sense spoiling what would otherwise be a merry season with the disappointment of getting something you have always wanted ).

The problem is that his best works were written in the 1930's, and this one is written after some three decades, and a conversion back to Christianity.

I am not sure if I should take the chance reading the book, and risk getting awfully disappointed.

okay.

so during my latest voyage to down under, i realised (or was made to realise) that aussie tram drivers do have a sense of humour.

WHAT you say..trams?

yep yep, trams (or the idea of it anyway..) apparently just turned 100 years old during my 10 day stay in melbourne. aussies living in the cities or on the outskirts do rely on trams plenty. in fact, just imagine the singapore transport system and switch buses with trams. there ya go.mate.

so back to my point. before you start comparing bus drivers here with tram drivers there (the example given earlier was just an analogy), tram drivers there arent at all grumpy and impolite. rather, they do have a sense of humour. i think.

you see, nearing major streets and all, they are supposed to call out the street name to help and newbie tourist find their way around. something like "next stop, swanston street" kinda thing.

so on my 2nd night there down under, i happened to be on a tram with a tram driver who tried to spice up the ol' borin' sleepy tram ride at 11pm.
.
.
.
"next stop, melbourne university. those of you who dont know where you're going, please come and see me. for those who think you know where you are going, you're already probably lost.

(laughter, then silence...)

seems to me i probably scared you'all eh"

pwns.joo.

What's the best Christmas present you can get?

A broken drum.

You just cant beat it.



sorry

... who were, if there ever were, Princes of Maine, Kings of New England.

My Christmas Wishlist !

Okay since a friend suggested it, a Christmas wishlist actually sounds like a very good idea.
So after much thought, here's mine :

1. a christmas like the one i had in 2002

2. anyone of santa's reindeer. preferably rudolph

3. a selective memory

4. good books

6. good company. would be nice if it comes with good friends as well

6. better games

7. or at least, a laptop which can run the games i am playing now without lagging

8. a good laugh

9. another lin yutang although i seem to already have two out of only three in print now =(

10. a box to keep things worth the space. Oh wait, i already have that..

11. things that are worth the space

12. someone to do my ee, field study and cas.

13. you.

14. just kidding haha.

There. This must be the longest i have ever spent on a blog post. Santa will have a tough job sorting this list out though. What a pity.

So we are already halfway through what should be one of our last end-of-year holidays and although i have not been up to anything of note ( read : yet to work on ee, cas and field study ), i wish time would slow down a little. I realize that about this time next year, i would already have parted ways with most of the people i have come to know, and like, which is, by itself, a terrifying prospect.

As much as i would like to avoid dealing with things like these, there are just some stuff that you cannot ignore, try as you might. Like how James Bond inevitably ends up with the hottest girls in any show he stars in. I have always wondered why he has not already pipped Genghis Khan to the dubious honour of being the planet's most biologically successful man, but the new movie sheds some light onto this point of contention. Turns out that Fleming cleverly arranged for Bond to be castrated by the bad guy in the very first book he wrote to avoid any unnecessary complications.

I had actually wanted to post something serious, but then i gave up halfway because it was just too damn much of a trouble. At least credit me for having the intent though.

There but for the grace of God, go I.

I finally got to watch the new James Bond movie on Sunday, and it really wasn't that bad, even though it went against half the Bond conventions I can think off.
1. Bond had nothing more than a silencer and a pistol, plus a handy unlimited supply of magazines.
2. Bond cried
3. It had a decent storyline. I have yet to dcide if thats a good thing
4. Bond cried
5. It had a shock ending. For a Bond movie that is. At some point during the movie, my cousin asked me if the movie was ending soon, and i replied no, my reasoning being that the female lead just died and Bond, who was heartbroken, obviously needed time to get over her and end up with someone else so that the movie can end off ... You know, like all others. Pity i was wrong.

Borat's (the title's too long for me to post it..) is showing here in aussieland.

and its only rated FIFTEEN.

not like our motherland where its R21 and not out yet.

hah. i say.

I have plenty of things on my mind right now, so i shall attempt to be coherent.

First off, had a weird dream about tasting strawberry ice cream which, in fact tasted like cookies and cream, which i realized is what i really need at the moment. Sweet.

And on a less frivolous note, i would like to draw your attention to a disturbing trend i have observed for the past year and a half. I realized that although English teachers used to tell us to write legibly so that the unfortunate soul that gets our scripts can at least understand what we are writing, most people seek to do the exact opposite, by writing prose so wonderfuly obscure so that no one understands it.

It is especially trendy nowadays to try and befuddle the average man with convoluted prose, with some even trying hard to do a perfect job by confusing even themselves. Passages like these would contain delightful phrases like existential angst, borne of their inability to use any word simpler than chicken.

Or maybe i am just bitter i cannot understand.

- GONE FISHING -

haha now i found a reason for my to-be absence.

drink and be merry in the land of kangeroos and koala bears.

ironically i prob will be seeing penguins, emus, and a whole lot of shopping. and perhaps stevie too =p

...wait that's not ironic.

Am feeling utterly miserable. Will probably fall sick soon enough.

Would be eternally grateful to God / Yahweh / the man upstairs if He graciously allows me to finish my extended essay and field study before I do.

If you haven't noticed, my last few posts have been intolerably whiny. Which, of course, is understandably boring and uninteresting, because I am working on the assumption that people don't read blogs so that they can empathize with whatever depression one is going through. At least I don't.

I have since come to the conclusion that having an interesting life directly prevents one from posting anything other than uninteresting bits about your life, because, erm, actually, I am only posting this because I have absolutely nothing better to do. Its kinda like a school term, you can choose to sleep, party or study, but the catch is that you can only do two in any given term, so some activities really are mutually exclusive.

You can surmise that my past few weeks has been quite interesting, as a friend thoughtfully observed. Thankfully, my life has settled down to its usual boring self, so this blog might actually become interesting again.

Twenty Odd Fellas and Two Sir's

so on wed we had a gathering for stevie, who is leaving our motherland for the kangeroos and koala bears in australia.

we gave stevie a spongebob from the ol' days (this one with legs and limbs all attached though), a cookie genre jar (sorry, inside joke) complete with farewell wishes on a card, a tennis ball, and believe it, our class conduct file of 2005. last updated - 06 Jan 05. haha oh well i guess its because we gave up after one week.

there also was a potluck dinner for him, 60% of the food was prepared by ethan's mum, 60% of the food was finished by darren. chew.

oh speaking of which, there was another chew at ethan's house (that's where the gathering was..dimwit), one which rather enjoyed the bridge games and the occasionally chatter.

After the potluck dinner, we gathered round the piano and sang two songs for stevie, Crazy Son (as always, it's sort of our anthem) and You Raise Me Up by josh groban. at the end of last yr, stevie played the music video of groban's You Raise Me Up, showing us his emo side.

following which, we watched a production by one of our dear "odd fella" who left us earlier this yr, Countdown. The screening of Countdown was filled with "oohs" and "ahhs" as we waited for our random classmates to appear and then die (its a signature of our friend's films that only 2 or 3 live at the end)

As we said our goodbye's at the end of the night, as another one of those close to us leaves us in the near future, i have this to say:

Dear Sir/Stevie (whichever your prefer),

You have been an inspiration to not only me, but also to the rest of us from pointsixteen. From your unique ways of teaching, to the various values of life you cultivated in us, we will always remember our LA(B) teacher. I wish you all the best in the years to come, and may you settle in quickly and comfortably in the land of the kangeroos and koala bears. And dont forget, "using mineral water to bathe is a CARDINAL SIN!"

Thank You and Goodbye

Yes, as kentay puts it: we do tend to get rather emotional sometimes.

Twenty Odd Fellas and Two Sir's

We all think we are masters of our fates, except for the occasional lazy sophist, but the world has this way of throwing up things that makes everything that we have done seem farcical and stupid.

We are confident that our intellects must be worth something, that if we try hard enough, we can sort things out, although all we are doing is running around in circles, and without even knowing it at that.

And sometimes, things happen in such a way that leaves you reeling, something which i can, unfortunately, testify to.

And, after all these, we still believe that thinking can get us out of the rut it has gotten us into in the first place.

Even though all i am mostly thinking about is you.

I am stuck at 900 words and unable to make any further headway (sideway or any other way) into the TOK essay, so I guess i am going to call it a day and stop working on the damn essay. To work on a blog post. Great.

Anyway, someone said that a certain philosopher, I think it was Stuart Mills, was so easily found out and dismissed because he wrote so clearly. More obscure philosophers like Kant, who must have been a bachelor or else never had to explain anything to his wife, remain rather popular to this day. I was doing my best impersonation of Kant, so hopefully, this piece will turn out fine.

I have also been aching in parts i did not know have muscles, thanks to a rather enjoyable game with some of my friends a couple of days ago, and due to regrettable lack of foresight in not warming up beforehand. We even had two courts, because we thought we needed the exercise and because Bernice offered to pay for the courts, but mostly because Bernice offered to pay for the courts. Pain notwithstanding, i must say it was rather fun, because i would rather take a few knocks along the way than to miss it entirely. Besides, I did have some fun along the way.

Even though it leaves me like this. And seven bucks poorer, if i may add.

i will watch

Borat: Cultural Learnings of America For Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan

when if it comes out.

In the meantime, i'll enjoy my holidays (or what's left of it after EE TOK and the usual rubbish)

end of yr reflections (2)

greetings netizens once again

finally the academic year of 2006 has ended. funnily enough, i end off the year the same way i started it. tea. yep. oh well more on that later.

as usual, the annual reflections come to afore again, here is mine for 2006.

well definately this year wasnt as great as 2005 (well which year can compare?), but it still was enriching nonetheless. in life you have to give and take, and i guess the past yr is no different. while i made some new friends and seen my grades sky-rocket (yea cmon take me seriously now eh), i lost contact and slowly slipped away from close friends that i made over the past 2 years. it seems that this year the environment that im in has changed slightly (yes yes, but im not refering to the haze), i now have classmates who are more worried about the upcoming test and their grades as compared to people who just love fun and prank others for the heck of it.

point in case, my famed mugger class of fivepointtwo just recently had a 'class party' on monday, where if you can believe it, played CHESS throughout the party. cmon, WHO plays chess during a party? oh well more on that later.

i guess i just have to accept this culture change and try to fit in as best as i can (some from pointsixteen say im in my element, bullshit i say). perhaps i really do have to try and move on.

over the course of the year, i have lost close friends. some have moved on with their life overseas, some just slipped away due to the segregated nature of the level.

moving on to a lighter note, one thing that has improved is my grades. at the start of the year, i was slightly apprehensive as i was worried about how i had to transcend from 'math-god, science-god' in pointsixteen to 'noob' in 5.2. thankfully though, i sort of scraped through the first half of the year, then hard work saw my results in the final year really shoot up. thx to my teachers though, they really helped me out a lot.

time has passed really fast this year, all the homework and assignments over the course of the year has sped up time. i shudder to think of all the stuff due early next year, im just gonna relax for a while then try to clear some work in late december.

to be very honest, i would say that 2006 has been a very forgettable year, mundane and full of routine. perhaps this is because 2006 pales in comparison to 2005, or just that i didnt enjoy myself for most part of the year. oh well this is my blog and im entitled to give my honest opinions...so sue me if u dont like what im writing.

please keep checking back for my updates on the "tea" and the "class party" soon.

i promise i'll update soon.

like in a few days.

yea.

sorry to my split personality for yet another long absence.

hopefully this wont be just another cameo appearance. (like all decent kids i promise to persevere in this endeavour)

cya soon.

Class party yesterday was decently fun, even though the naughtiest thing we did amounted to having a game of cards in our Chem teacher's house ( which i abstemiously refrained from).

I am sorry I didn't say a word to you yesterday, but i think to do it any other way would merely trivialize all that we have agreed to in the first place. I, too, wish we could remain acquaintances, but i think i need some time. Maybe, sometime in the future, when i am over it, things will be like what it once was. This will, hopefully, be my last post on this issue, because I never would want to revisit this period again.

There is also nothing to be really sorry about, on your part, because you have made your decision, and I am glad that you did.

I should be the one thanking you actually. So...thank you. For the times.

You are missed.

I am sorry.

I didn't know post exams can be such a complicating matter. I used to think you study hard through the year, sit for the exams, and get a two and a half month respite for being such a good boy, i.e. studying compulsively for anything they throw in your way.

In the midst of it all, of course, i marvel at the fact that i can still spend an entire day on my bed reading a book which has nothing to do with the four essays i am supposed to be working on, due to a conspicuous absence of other more interesting activities.

I just found out that i am in for a shelling tomorrow because of my failure to turn up for Physics Olympiad, although i have only been informed about it two weeks before the competition and has hinted subtly several times that the only thing i will be able to do there is to fill my name in. Not that my other appointment last Friday went too well, but i would still like to believe that it was considerably more enjoyable than staring at physic questions for five hours in a lecture theatre. I didn't have much choice to begin with, and am now faced with the extremely undesirable prospect of having to see my physics teacher tomorrow for a (hopefully) short but understandably unpleasant meeting.

Which i think is distinctly unfair.

End-of-Year Reflections

I know I don't usually title my posts, but i kinda stole the title from someone else( you know who you are, and this one is for you), so i don't really know if it counts. My split personality, of course, meticulously, titles his posts, but i often find it more convenient to go without, so if that has bothered you, i apologize, mea culpa.

Anyway, 2006 has indeed come to a close, in more ways than one. The feeling is that of relief, perhaps, at having come so far, but as with everything gone past, there is also the lingering feeling that you could have changed just that little bit, and perhaps things would have turned out a lot better.

It's not my job to figure out how things could have turned out this year if i have just done things a little bit differently. I strongly suspect that i will gaze longingly at alternative paths, no matter how wonderful the year has been for me once i commit myself to thinking what could have been better, so i shall keep myself happy and refrain from doing so.

I don't know if i can honestly say i have grown up - but the passage of time, in its physical sense (and in strictly non-relativistic contexts, to appease those fussy physicists among you) , is inexorable, and i am not sure if that is actually a good thing. Plus, i don't know what is our fascination is with growing up, as if there is a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. I, for one, would prefer to stay just where i am, although that might change if someone does find a pot of gold at the end, and i would be infinitely obliged to you if you do tell me when you find something ( but it has better be worth my while).

I am tempted to say that last year was better than this, but i suppose that is one of the inherent flaws in the human mind. We always seek to compartmentalize our experiences, breaking them up into discrete pieces that we can handle, and make sense of. In the same way, i suppose it is also easy to think of people as absolutes, entities that you can file and categorize, even though we are well aware that the essence of humanity is as elusive as that of ether, to which its greatest minds were committed to finding at the turn of the century.

I cannot say that i am really sorry for anything i have done this year, because if given a chance, i would do it all over again. I don't think i have any real regrets, because, hell, life is short, and the year was short, so i guess we don't have the whole of eternity perfecting what we are going to do before actually getting around to doing it. Not that it would be an entirely attractive prospect, even if we do. Perfection gets boring if it gets repetitive, just like any other thing, i suspect. So i guess we make our decisions, face the music, and move on. We all make stupid decisions once in a while, so when you do, i guess you just have to make sure you have friends by your side, before you start slitting your wrists ( kidding, of course). Or else a lot of money to spend.

Speaking of which, i suppose i have found some new friends, in totally unexpected people. I drifted away from some, but i also found some new ones, and lost one or two along the way. I couldn't say i am happy at having lost some, but maybe when we do get together again, things will be better. Okay, I don't truly believe that, but there is no harm in believing, and certainly none in hoping. Maybe, as someone said, the entire point of a journey is to end up where we first started, and to know it for the first time, so maybe at the end of this journey, we will see each other again. But for the meantime, goodbye, and i wish you all the best. We stake out our own paths, and we will have to walk them out, but even as they diverge now, i certainly hope they will cross again in the future, although i still owe certain people too much money to put what remaining money i have on that.

I am currently tucked away in a corner at Coffee Bean because apparently it is an absolute waste of time to spend the day stoning in the hotel room, when you can pay 12 bucks for a cup of coffee, get ripped off AND stone the day away, which, as everyone knows, is a much more sensible alternative. I am, after all, on a holiday.

Anyway, this is my firt post in ages and the fact that i still have nothing much to blog about is a testament to the great post-exam period i am having. We have had a symposium, on TOK, which left me with the impression that the entire point of the exercise was to go out and pretend to say something that sounds mildly intelligent, while trying to baffle as many people as possible. It also helps if you have a fake accent or generally unintelligible speech.

remember last time i posted a rather angsty post that went like "screw sylvia plath and screw you"?

yea im keeping version two for next friday. wait for it.

This must be first time i have blogged in about two weeks or so, but let me warn you before hand, this is an angsty post, so if you are a particularly loyal fan of this blog, please do not feel obliged to read it, just because it is on my blog. This is in no way a reflection of actual events, and if you take it personally, you are just dumb.

I have had enough of this crap. The last few weeks have not exactly been the most pleasant weeks, and you have not helped one single bit. You complain incessantly about how your life is hellish, how reality is turning into a neverending nightmare... i suppose you might as well throw in a bit of melodrama and complain that it is whirling into a deep abyss the next time. I don't know if this makes you feel that you have the right to attempt to make people go through the same nonsense that you do, but guess what, you don't.

You talk about being tired. So what, everyone else is dammit. It is one thing to feel fatigued and depend on others for support, and quite another to actually use it as an excuse to do whatever you bloody like. So stop wallowing in self-pity, everyone goes through the same thing for god's sake.

My friends tell me that it is my fault, for making you believe that you are somehow always right, and i will have to leave this for you to judge. I suppose i should not be pissed right now, but then you have to excuse me, i think i at least have a right too.

If all you wanted me to do was to wait, i would. I don't know if you ever wanted it to work out, or if you just thought it is nice to have someone waiting on you all the time. Maybe, as you put it, it makes you feel flattered. Wow, congratulations, and i just have to blame myself for being the moron to agree to all this.

The last straw was Wednesday. I really believed things would work out fine up till then, and you really have to give it to me for my naivete. If you are so bloody afraid that i will come barging in any moment and totally ruining your day by embarassing you, then i guess there is no point in pursuing anything. But to be frank, you are the first person i met who thought i was an embarassment to be with, although i cannot pretend to understand your reasoning.

I think the part about trying to make me jealous was totally uncalled for, and i think even you must agree. If you think it is amusing to make someone jealous over you, fuck off, and i am not kidding here. Actually, no matter what your motivations may be, i should have told you to fuck off then - i am not your toy, or your experimental subject. I can't say this about anything else, but if you still think you are right on this issue, i am sorry i have ever known you.

Leave my friends out of this, and i will leave yours out. You tried spoiling a friendship without knowing and i did warn you then not to attempt it again. At least my friends gave you a fair chance, and you brought everything that has happened on yourself. Goddammit, i cant even say the same for some of yours - they didn't even give things a chance . If you still think those friends are nicer than mine, i think you are an absolute idiot, and i don't think too many people will disagree. Except, of course, some of your friends.

Let's not talk about a deeper relationship, you never even treated me as a friend in the first place. Who, or what, exactly do you think i am? So let me get this straight. You call me whenever you are down, and feel like talking to someone, and all your other friends happen to be unavailable at the moment. Actually, I don't even really mind that, but you pushed it too far. I have said that i don't expect you to keep things up if you are feeling tired, which unfortunately, seem to be all the time, but think about it, when have you actually been there for me? Honestly?

I don't know if you realize this, but you actually need commitment for friendships as well. And don't give me that nonsense about not liking commitment. Dammit, who does, actually? But if all you want from a friendship, or any other sort of relationship, for that matter, is someone to turn to when you are down, and if you are not ready to reciprocate, then go screw. Don't get me wrong, i am not pissed that you told me to wait, no actually, i meant, that you said no, because this isn't about that. Someone said you don't treat another human being that way, and i guess i must have been really stupid to believe that it can go deeper, when there isn't a friendship on in the first place.

I have never done this to anyone before, hell, i never even thought i was capable of being so angsty. But i don't feel like keeping it inside any longer, so I guess that's another one for your list of achievements.

bloke.

hello computer world, a quick post before i rush off to watch more "Whose line is it anyway" on youtube. y'all should try watching it..

Recently, Bloke has grabbed the spotlight with his amusing Chem Test answer.When
asked "Calculate the average bond energy of Xe-F", Bloke expertly replied with
an answer involving the words :Ivan S. Bloch, Warfare, War of Attrition and
Technological Advances.he added 172.25 kJmol as an afterthought The improvised
mesh of historical fact and irrelevent chemical connections earned Bloke a full
3 marks for the question. The offending test paper has been seized and given
"public property status".

Here's what it says:

According to the theories established by Ivan S. Bloch, conventional warfare
would change in 1914,; a move from the fluid movement on the battlefield to a
war of attrition in the bond energy as Xe- F bonds with new innovation
technologies.

Punchline?

~autolycus
12:39 PM Sep 26, 2006 IP 156:13
That answer is wrong. It should be 136.25 kJ/mol.

source of info/picture: acxis

Isn't it so common nowadays for people to disappoint one another?

Just a couple of weeks ago, alastair (su), kentay and i were having a rather informal and off-the-cuff chat about random topics. Somehow we got the topic of people disappointing one another. We all agreed that no matter how trustworthy or honourable or whatever a person is, there always is a possibility that he/she will one day break a promise.

Furthermore, it has become so common for people to break promises that there no longer is such a thing as "complete trust". Even if you task a certain person to do something, at the back of your mind there always is this small doubt that the person would either fail at the task, not complete it, or even worse still, not attempt at the task at all.

Take a step back and reflect, how many times have you failed someone, when you agreed or promised to do something. Countless? Well unfortunately, society has degenerated (as is my post) to such a point where such a situation is brushed off and considered normal. An agreed date (no matter if its boy-girl or a group outing) can be called off on the day itself, or a certain member of the date not turn up at all without informing the rest prior to the outing/date (pangseh).

Well to end abruptly, i suppose this post is merely nothing more than just pure lament or idle banter (although this cannot be quite considered banter im just lamenting to myself). So next time you agree upon something, make sure you fulfill it, or at least try your best.

For those of you who have taken a fleeting fancy to this blog, as evidenced by the increased viewership, i'll post a quick update on the holidays thus far. Okay, i was kidding about the increased readership, but i have always wanted so desperately to write something to that effect, it feels so go-oood.

I am glad to announce that i have lived up to my pre-holiday pledge of doing absolutely nothing at all ( didn't i post something on that not too long ago ?) and have so far managed to idle five full days away, which leaves about two more days to go.

In my defense, i really have to say that it is absolutely horrible here in Malaysia. My nose, sensitive creature as it is, has yet to adjust, the result being that i have had to breathe through some other orifice ( namely, the mouth) for the past few days.

This also leaves with me the highly unattractive prospect of being unable to enjoy the food in Malaysia, which i have been looking forward to since, just, oh, a couple of months back. About the time i stepped into singapore two months back, if you would allow me to add.

Tsk tsk. I think one is rendered totally incapable of enjoying the food to any degree because it is impossible to breathe while chewing when one is having a blocked nose, and the simple and normally enjoyable act of mastication becomes quite a laborious chore, but you shouldn't take my word on faith . I suggest you plug your nose while eating and i think you might just appreciate how dastardly difficult it is to breathe and chew at the same time for those with perpetual blocked noses. Which would be me, actually.

dear steve,

i am terribly upset and sorry to hear of your untimely death. i respect what you lived for and what you fought for - a clean environment and healthy animals. i really like your show, the crocodile hunter, and i watch it whenever my dad changes the channel to discovery channel and your show is on. i'll miss your khakis.

damn that stingray i say.

goodbye steve.

I am feeling deliriously happy because the third term is finally over, and after this short one week break, we have our final exams to look forward to. Life is good, no great, when you have two exams in as many terms.

Anyway, the past few days has been a jumble of mixed feelings. I nearly lost my wallet twice yesterday, found them back, stained my shirt, expected to get a shelling, barely excaped, stained the bloody same shirt again this morning ( soaked it with soup.. no laughing matter there boys ), and got away with my skin again. I really have no idea if i am terribly lucky, or horribly unlucky.

Happy (or not so) 50th post.

At this point in time, i feel that i do have to return from my break from posting(or blogging for that matter).

In life, we all face problems. Sometimes we succeed in solving them, at other times we just make them worse. As i passed through a person's blog, i feel compelled to highlight a particular post which caught my attention.

"
Illusions & Appointments
When we speak of disappointments, we sometimes forget about what that really means. The implicit appointments of which we speak are not the appointments to rank or office, or the meetings we arrange with others, or the legal designations of power and status. Rather, we speak of furnishings and embellishments, for these are what appointments are in the context of disappointments. A disappointment is the stripping away of something which we had used to furnish our emotional house, the rooms of our dreams and aspirations. We rarely use that phrase 'luxuriously appointed', but in such a context, 'disappointment' would refer to the removal of such luxury, and the reduction of our rich imaginings to drab reality.

In like vein, we occasionally forget that disillusionment is often positive, regardless of our religious or philosophical leanings. When Niels Bohr was asked what the complementary inverse of Reality (Warheit, 'truth') was, he replied, "Clarity (Klarheit)." He meant that the more we seek reality, the less clear things become (1, 2). To be disillusioned is to be reft of one's illusions, to somehow enter a state of clarity without forsaking reality. This is a difficult trick; it is as difficult to be disappointed of one's appointments without being disappointed in the wrong way.

And so we return to the iron city of Dis. Somehow, we must be disillusioned of the glamours and fakes which surround us, but not be stripped of imagination and the power of creation. Somehow we must be disappointed without losing heart, without taking the loss of prettiness as a loss of self. Somehow, we must be able to absorb 'dis' without succumbing to Dis.

I take heart from the encouragement I have received from those whom God has given to me for friendship and support. I am heartened, which is the same thing, but made simpler. I am enjoyed, made more joyful; I am enabled, made more able. And through all these great gifts of God, I gain and am renewed.
"

To anybody out there reading this post, no matter what problems you may face, what difficulties you have, commit it all to God. If you are a non-believer, take heart that there are always friends around you to pick you up when you are down. Never give up if you can, but if you have to, move on.

We'll always be here.

Math portfolio sucks.

I am nowhere near fit for blogging, but then i guess i have done a lot of stuff that i should not have done in the past few days, so one more item on an already long list won't make much difference, and i might as well be hanged for a goat as for a chicken.

If it takes us so long to churn out a piece of work on something we already know, I swear mathematicians must be robots, or else machines in which you pour in coffee and which grind out mathematical equations. Or maybe we are just dumb, but that is sometimes too painful to contemplate.

I have also heard that they are a weird bunch, one apparently left the following message on his pager, ' I am sorry the number you have dialled does not exist , please rotate by ninety degrees and try again'
If you can manage even a slight dry chuckle after spending all those hours on maths portfolio, congratulations, you are now officially an IB nerd.

All right, its been some time since i really sat down and seriously thought of something to blog about. A blog, is after all, just a more popular form of the diary - I do not intend to commit it to posterity, and i do not imagine that there would be too many people interested, even if I do. If nothing on this blog interests you, or if you find it a little too whimsical, or nonsensical, umm, well no one is forcing you to read it. I imagine Rushdie would say that it is very easy not to get offended by a particularly horrible blog - all you have to do is move on to the next horrible one.

But i am missing my point. The point i was trying to get across, before i got all defensive, is that our modern culture is intolerably stifling. Okay, i know i am starting to sound like an angsty teenager now, but like i said, freedom of choice.

We all believe that we possess a degree of individualism our boring fathers could never have dreamt off ( after all, we have personalized computers, personalized keychains, and personalized god-knows-what-else). Well, truth is, and I know this sucks, we are not. The ironic part, of course, correct me if i am wrong, is that there is an amazing number of brands telling you to be yourself and other such nonsense, although how that should entail buying goods mass-manufactured in some Third World factory, I am not too sure.

All that would not be so bad, i guess if it weren't for the fact that we are unabashedly revelling in our shallowness. I think we are somehow aware that our lives have degenerated into a weird race for acquisition of material goods, for the sole purpose of acquiring more material goods. We amuse ourselves with toys, like the latest handphone model, aching to be relieved from our mundane worries, if only for a fleeting moment.

We believe that exercise is good for us, because the newspapers tell us, but mainly because other people are doing it, so we go to the gym, which happens to be the modern substitute for a walk, for those less enlightened among you, but shorn of a walk's true pleasure. We also believe that fast food is bad, but of course that doesn't stop us from going to the nearest Burger King's to pick up whatever strikes our fleeting fancy. What is so depressing about fast food is not that it kills you, (everything does, come to think of it), not that it is oppressively oily, hell, not even because it comes serves in plastic forks and spoons but because it is so massively, irrevocably, for lack of a better word, monotonous. Look around you, and you will see people eating, that's right, burgers, fries, and more burgers. You know you are in a very sad state when you cannot afford a one hour lunch break, having instead to resort to the same fast food everyday. I mean, sorry if i come across like a retard, but isn't this getting a little ridiculous?

We also believe that we are bored all the time, mostly because we are indeed bored, outside our jobs that is, because our lives are defined by the jobs we have, or, on a more pleasant note, the cars we own. In our moments of boredom, we sometimes question if it is all worth it, but then we look back at what we still have to do, and we push it aside, because we'll figure that when we have time. And guess what, big surprise, we never have the time.

All in all, I think we did a pretty good job at ensuring our time on earth will be as miserable as possible.

Unhappiness is a very personal thing, but if any generalization can be drawn at all, it is that most people are usually convinced that they are the most unhappy / miserable/ unfortunate / troubled / sorrowful / despondent ( delete where appriopriate ) person on earth. I don't think anyone will have any problems understanding that, we have all been, at one point or other, been convinced of its truth, generally because one's own problems are immediately identifiable, whereas trying to walk in someone else's shoes may be a tad too troublesome. Plus, everyone fancies being chronically misunderstood.

Point is, of course that we always convince ourselves that if we just do a little bit better, or if we get that damn promotion which is just without our reach, our happiness will be complete and we will finally be able to sit down and enjoy the feast of life. That does not happen very often, just as a student who fails his exams will aim to pass, while someone who passes it comfortably will aim to excel, and those who excel will hanker for the top spot, because we will forever covet what we do not have.

And even if we do get what we want, we usually lose our appetite for the feast in the process.

This blog's readership appeared to have stagnated once again ( err, like wow, big surprise and all ) and i think it might be convenient to put it down to the drecreased frequency of posts. Yeah, i know, mea culpa, (which to the classically challenged amongst you, which is pretty much all of us nowadays, means 'I am guilty', a phrase which i imagined was propelled right up to the forefront of human consciousness by the advent of Christianity ) but if its any consolation, at least you don't have to put up with horrible posts which i assure you, i am quite capable of, in times of haste ( that was false humility by the way, in case you have not noticed, or what you might call fausse humilite ).

On another note, the performance yesterday was not too bad at all, for a school production that is. I did wish i could hear what they were singing a little more clearly, and i suppose i would appreciate better jokes ( accents are getting horribly boring, don't you think so...?), but all in all, it was pretty decent. My friend found the singing of the school anthem particularly amusing for reasons i cannot pretend to fathom, and he was belting it out with cheerful abandon, so you can be forgiven for being a little puzzled by his behaviour. Not that i would have paid twenty bucks for it, oops, i mean, of course i would, whatever were you thinking?

Tribute

Goodbye Jeff.

Nice knowing you.

In the words of bloke - "god i'll miss that bastard"

I generally find that the best way to keep ahead in life is to bombast your way out of trouble. The best part is, it takes little practice, is not as difficult as it seems, and is considerably easier said, than understood.

If you don't believe me, ask anyone from my class. Really.

Most students start out idealistic, believing in imaginary entities like conscience and academic honesty, but cynicism usually sets in among the general lot within one year or so, and those who remain idealistic are either confunded nitwits or inspired geniuses ( which is a pretty wide spectrum, covering just about, err... everyone, i know but still..). So after a year, most students actually do much better at certain subjects like philosophy, assuming, of course, their essays are obscure and unintelligible enough to baffle whoever is assigning the grades.

There is usually a halo surrounding whatever we cannot understand, and we revere certain ideas simply because they are beyond our grasp. Just ask Einstein.

if ur confused about the rather large influx of posts over the past week then thats great. your officially a regular of this blog.

on a note, i remember what zheng hao said after the first paper of the common tests..

me: wah basket...inside damn cold leh..i in front somemore

zheng hao: haha! i learnt this in australia...

me: learn what?

zheng hao: cold ah? suffer.

screw poems.

screw sylvia plath.

screw you.

oh well...you see, i hatched my ingenious plan a long time ago. doing really badly for my mid-yrs is just part of my plan.

really.

although my plan should be secret, but aiyah nehmine lah. doing really badly (to me at least...) puts me WAYY under the radar, hence ppl wont bug me about how to do stuff like last term after the econs paper. hence i now have time and freedom AND an excuse to start mugging soon. not happy? start mugging then.

well lets see at the yr-end if my plan works...remember my resolutions?

After some two weeks on nail biting, rushing our work, sitting and staring at the computer screen, mugging ( well, only for those of us who enjoy indulging in our national pastime anyway), exams are finally over and now we can sit back comfortably and start nail biting, rushing our work, sitting and staring at the computer ( well, see above). Exams are over, and we have got a tonne of deadlines coming up ( just the deadlines mind you, don't get me started on the work we have to do ).

We all thought life after the exams would be great ( well, okay, not reaaally, but we seriously thought it would be better.... reaally) but like so many other things in life ( right up there with sex and Christmas celebrations, so i have been told) it is so much better to travel hopefully than to arrive. The time arrives, we cluch it to our chests, and all we could think off, it seems is whether we could have done better if we just have put it that little bit of extra effort.

Well i guess we can always do better at almost anything, but against the argument that we can do better, there is always the one that it is equally possible that we can do worse. I know this is an essentially negative philosophy, for the losers so to speak, but thats okay, because there will inevitably be more losers than winners, so if one cannot be a good philosopher, one can at least settle for being a popular one.

My Dream

You see, i had this dream not a long time ago, and i've finally gotten down to writing it down.

I dreamt that one fine sunny day in between lessons, a chorus of Crazy Son pierced through the air. A long throng of pointsixteen people burst into my class and start shouting our favourite rendition of Ronin's best gayballet to date. Amongst the laughter, a voice shouted, "those who dont belong in here, GET OUT!".

i left.

along with the rest of pointsixteen, merrily busking down the yr 5 corridors.

You see, while i am not apportioning any blame to any party in my class, there is an apparent lack of loyalty to my current class. Along with this, there is simply no class spirit whatsoever. No, a few cliques here and there is not considered class spirit. While i am not proposing anything to create a class spirit as yet, i do realise that we all have to play a part. Yes, perhaps i am guilty of fleeing to the other side for my daily kicks, but still i do hope that i wouldnt have to do that any more.

From experience, a class spirit can be fostered through the means of a few class jokers. Obviously our class doesnt have one. Daryl is a pseudo-joker who cant make it sorry to say, and there isnt any other person comparable to say, Charlie of 4.11 or Chan Zheng Hao of 4.16.

Oh well, while we can be told to improve our class spirit by relevant authorities, it really is up to us to create one.


Oh ya, the dream really sort of happened in real life in January, but the "get out!" didnt really materialise. We did in fact go busking around the corridors in January, as well as bursting into the audi in the middle of the tok lectures for the new students. kinda got busted by our yr 5 director though.

Those were the days...

Luke, kentay and Ethan were heading for teh at holland V last fri.


kentay: hey! lets go to bloke's house for a while...

luke: okay ethan call bloke and ask him if we can go

Ethan: ...(ring ring) Hello bloke, whats ur unit no?

Bloke: 17

Ethan: Ok (hangs up)

Don't knock masturbation. It is the thinking man's ( or woman's, just to appease those raging feminists amongst you ) television.

My July 2006 Resolution:

I resolve (ha!) to attain pwnage level with my physics by year end, and to get my maths back to pwnage level by year end.

I dont have that much of a choice do i?

On Intelligence

This was written by Su Tun P'o almost a thousand years ago. Yes, yes, some things never really seem to change does it?

On the birth of my son :

Families, when a child is born,
Want it to be intelligent.
I, through intelligence,
Having wrecked my whole life,
Only hope the baby will prove ignorant and stupid.
Then he will crown a tranquil life,
By becoming a Cabinet Minister.

Always knew it doesn't pay to be smart.

I am sick of teachers telling us that we are not taking exams, of all bloody things, seriously enough. If exams are an inevitable evil, then the least any sane person can do is not to take it like a matter of life and death, which I assure you, is not too uncommon a view nowadays ( literally, I guess if you consider the number of people who have committed suicide after failing their exams ), but here they are, telling us that we are just not serious enough and that we should be more concerned, it is our exams after all, so will you please shut the hell up and pay attention like all good little boys should?

Anyway seriousness is too highly overrated in my opinion, because it is after all, a sign of drudgery, which in turn implies incomplete mastery. I have noticed that truly great authors make no attempts to write like they have got a bee stuck up their ass, and are, more often than not, amazingly lucid, readable and simple. Lightness of touch often comes with complete mastery, but if we cannot be very good at something, we should at least not pretend to be doing serious work and broadcast our ignorance for the benefit of the general populace.

Great humorists, after all, are often great thinkers, (much better than logicians and moralists would be anyway and that's often good enough) and it was G.K. Chesterton, was is not, who said that if angels could fly, it is only because they take themselves so lightly.

Hols are over. I have about one and a half days more of respite, but a crazy term beckons ( don't ask me how i know.. some things you just know ).

Receiving news about my not-too-flattering grades yesterday is not my idea of an ideal conclusion to a decent holidays, but there you go... I really wish these things wouldn't affect me so much.

On the other hand, a Lin Yutang close at hand is always useful, and i quote :

" The Chinese approach to the problem of happiness is always negative, like Diogenes who proclaimed to the world he was a happy man because he did not want anything. Unlike Diogenes however, a Chinese man want quite a few things. But he wants only the things that make for happiness, and at the same time does not insist on them of they are out of reach.

He wants at least a pair of clean shirts, for Diogenes in the story book may exhale a certain kind of spiritual fragrance but Diogenes as a bedfellow would be a different story. But if he is extremely poor and can have only one shirt, h will not mind either. He wants many children, and if he is weathy, a good cook too, but if he is not born with such 'voluptuous' luck, he will not be sorry either. He wants a filled stomach, but congee and pickled carrots are not so costly in China; and he wants a good jug of wine, but rice wine is often home brewed, or he can pay only a few cash for a bowl at the good old wine shops. He wants a secluded hut, but if he cannot have the luck and must live in the city, he will not be sorry either. For he would have, in any case, a cage-bird and a few potted flowers and the moon, for he can always have the moon.

A strong determination to get the best out life, a keen desire to enjoy what one has, and no regrets if one fails : this is the secret of the Chinese genius for contentment. "

They should make living life without reading at least one of the books he has written a crime.

I think i am turning into an insomniac.

As tough as that is to imagine ( what with my brains having been fried by the sheer lack of sleep ), I think i am quite incapable of falling asleep now - the flesh cries out for sleep but the spirit, is errr, unwilling i guess. Forgive me if you think i am being corny, one is allowed to plead not guilty for almost any crime on grounds of insanity, so surely for a minor a transgression as this, sleep deprivation is as good an excuse as any.

At this present moment, I trying to prop my eyelids open, having spent the past hour on the bed, but sleep like a wayward child that decides to do things his way, is playing hard-to-catch. Any form of conscious resistance is, of course, futile, and unfortunately, i am not too sure about the unconscious ones going on.

It can't be from worrying about the common test, i am hardly thinking about the damn thing, although when i do, the former often pops in like an uninvited guest, (you know the kind that walks in like it is his birthright and expects you to amuse him ?). All that about me not having to worry about it is perversion of the truth of the worst kind ( the kind you can't plead sleep deprivation), because hey, i worry as much as the next guy, as long as it is a guy of course.

Good Lord at the rate i am going i am going to have to stay awake through the night and leave for school at seven tomorrow, which isn't too enticing a prospect.

Where are lecture notes when you need them?

Of Homosexuals and Homo Sapiens

Okay here's a confession ( tighten your seatbelts and all, you might be in for a surprise here ). Ready?

I'm not gay. I mean, like, seriously.

But that's not the point. The point is, and has always been, why on earth are men, so agitated by their gay friends? Okay we can look at it this way, it leaves the rest with a hell lot more choice ( unless they are closet gays of course, that might explain some stuff, but nevermind.. ), it is a small step towards solving a burgeoning population problem, and seriously guys, we have to admit that gays generally look better.

I can understand if girls throw up a big fuss over the issue, it does, after all, leave them a little short of choice, if we are to believe that all sensitive good looking guys are generally unavailable because they already have boyfriends, but .... guys ? Is it me, or are we really as dull as they say we are?

If you are at a buffet, and the person next to you refuses to eat, or does something else entirely contrary to the norm, you do not get all moral about the issue do you?

You might say that's an entirely different thing, and you might have a point. But religious convictions aside,( because really, not everyone has a direct line to God and is privy to His plans for the universe and is thus able to tell the rest of mankind what is Right and what is not), how different can it be?

Human beings are at their most sensible and least pretentious, I believe, at the dinner table, so seriously, why can't we practise our table manners elsewhere as well?

Teachers

As i chanced upon one of my old teacher's blog recently, i began to reflect on an important aspect of students' lives.

Teachers. (no dont worry this isnt some sort of expository essay)

Im sure most of you reading this, which wouldnt be anyone save for my split personality, have experienced a whole spectrum of teachers. good ones, bad ones, shitty ones. I must say, that i am rather grateful for the teachers assigned to my class this year, as compared to my previous years. Other than one or two teachers with rather calculating and interesting unique mindsets, overall i must say the standard of my teachers have improved rather significantly.

Teachers, i realise contrary to common belief, do not have much freedom. Recalling an incident quite a while back, one teacher said the wrong thing, or typed the wrong thing rather. While i shall not name names in order to not get into deep shit exercise responsible blogging, it is quite clear who he/she is.

Oh well, by the way, the teacher i mentioned at the start is the same teacher i mentioned at the end.
AND,
he isn't quite that old to be honest.

If i am disappointing anyone out there with the frequency of my posts, or rather the lack of it ( i am aware of my own presumptiousness thank you very much ) , I must offer, in my defense, two reasons, because, apart from havving to deal with frequent run-ins with err, blogger's blocks, if you would excuse the pun, I am also at the mercy of a rather unpredictable and moody internet connection.

I have noticed that on gloomy and rainy days, it catches a whiff of the bleak atmosphere as well, and is much more likely to deny me access, like those moral uplifters who seek to assuage the pain of having forgone much pleasures in life by denying others the very same pleasures. But that's another story, and not mine to tell, at that.

But never mind, I have better learn to appreciate what i have, which like so many other things is so much easier said than done. No one in his right mind gives thanks for being able to breathe, but put a man in water for three minutes before hauling him up and you will hear a most incoherent, babbling gratitude for something hardly worth his notice three minutes ago.

Oh.. And regarding an earlier post on circumventing food?
If anyone wishes to prove me wrong, and is able to come up with some way that does not entail rolling about on the floor with gastric pains at some future point in time, I am more than glad to give it a try =)

Why do we inevitably find faults in people that we care for the most?

Is it because the same qualities that endear them to us, allow us to know them too well ?

Or is it because we do not really care enough about other people to find faults with them?

Or maybe, just maybe, we are aware of the need to deceive, and convince ourselves, because to do otherwise would make ourselves far too vulnerable.

Get a life!

Okay, i am dead tired. Not the kind that comes from staring at a screen, watching people chase a ball for two and a half hours. Nope, its not that. Its the kind that comes from actually doing the ball chasing for much of two and a half hours yourself, the kind that leaves your back aching and your legs... errr.. never mind about legs..
I am only blogging because Netherland's premature exit in the game i was playing left me without a thing to do and feelling really hard done by. Oh and while we are at it, Fifa World Cup sucks ( and no, its not cause i just lost.. though that might have something to do with it ) . But its worth playing if only for the penalty shootouts though, although the fact that i lost without having had so much as one chance to take a penalty or save one gets me even more pissed.



Verdict : I need to get a life ( and if you are reading this, so do you.. )

Greetings!

Greetings netizens.

My long awaited return to idleramblers has been accomplished! Many thanks to my split personality with his not-so-frequent stand-ins.

Blogging now is the best way for my mind to go blank.

seriously.

Whenever i blog, or even think about blogging, my mind goes blank. blank as in white.

not black.

white.

I guess i'll leave you with a link then, idlerambler.deviantart.com. That's sort of my photo log. Yep. Visit it if you're free.

Goodbye netizen.

If you are even reading this.

How i managed to procure this blog entry i do not know. since my mind is supposed to be blank.

dOh!

So let me keep you informed with the latest updates of this blog's traffic.

The total for the day stands at : 0 ( yes, you read it right.. what about you..? Errr...that's a good one..)

Which is a pretty damn stupid thing for me to do, because if you are reading this, then the stats are obviously inaccurate, and if you aren't, well, if you aren't, there is no point explaining why it is stupid in the first place is there?

But it is such a pity you know... because, you and I, we have been through so much since the blog started haven't we...? I mean, i might not exactly know who you are, but but, still... you get what i mean don't you ( look at me getting all sentimental, ah well..).

And to think you might still be existing in that quantum state of uncertain existence, but ....err, but ...

Well, but for Stat-fucking-counter, which had to destroy everything.

I was let into a shockingly terrible secret yesterday; one which, I must confess, made me doubt the very existence of sentient beings on Earth ( not kidding about this one.. trust me ).

Okay, I am exaggerating?

Anyway before I let you into it, I am compelled to inform you that i have registered this site with Statcounter two days ago, which means that your visits to this page will be tracked... Which is a pretty good idea, because in the event of long periods of inane boredom which I am often prone to, I can always log on to statcounter and delight myself looking at the wonderfully detailed and colourful graphs. But i digress, ( i know what is keeping you reading by the way.. its the secret and i better be quick with it right?.... okay okay i am getting there...)

So yes, it happened that i was in one of those moods yesterday, and i logged in and found out that.. umm.. well.. that...there was .. ahhh.. jesus this is embarassing.. and the only reason I am even typing this out on the blog is because.. well.. no one reads it !

Because, well I basically found out that the number of visitors who have been to my site ( unique, first - time and repeated offenders included) .. the GRAND TOTAL... is well... um...
nil...

Which basically means that no one will be reading this post as well and that i can spew whatever bile, vitriol etc etc onto the blog and nothing will happen, because no one knows...

Isn't life great?

That Sinking Feeling?

So with half a year gone, and another one and a half to go before i (hopefully) complete my IBDP i guess its time for a wee bit of reflections. Which, if you take the hint, is just another excuse for me to bitch and whine about school.

Theh extracurricular stuff are absolutely killing me - i am beginning to have this sinking feeling that comes from the realisation that the workload is enough to last me all the way until Kingdom comes. I have got an extended essay and a geography field study to work on in november, which effectively means that i am not gonna have my two month holiday at the end of the year, 150 hours of CAS, and on top of that, i still have to study for the exams. which just makes you wonder why i am here blogging instead of doing all these. But thats another story.

There is no way i am going to stay sane through all these, so the best i can hope for seems to be to go insane as unobstrusively as possible, which isn't a very bright prospect if you haven't already noticed.

So here i am on the second day of a one month holiday, fretting about my impending and inevitable doom. I may, of course, be wrong, and this may just be me getting worried over nothing ( prove me wrong because, christ , i sure as hell hope i am .. ) but...

Whatever in hell is the world coming to nowadays?

A Discourse on Nothing in particular

Now this is really weird, because i could swear that i posted something yesterday, but it somehow got lost in, erm, transmission. but if you are reading this right now, it probably means that my second attempt has been somewhat more successful than my first.

I have heard, or read, somewhere that everyone is allowed to do this once, and just once, and although i am not particularly in favour of using up once-in-a-lifetime chances like this so impulsively, the situation is getting pretty desperate (i know, i know, that's what they all say right?)

Plus, you know you are in a pretty bad shape when the bizarre highlight of the week is the fact that a girl challenges you to an arm-wrestling match with the genuine belief that she can beat you ( i am a guy, you dunderhead, just in case you have not figured it out yet ...serious..). And if you would just allow me to add just this little bit, i beat her senseless ( that is some achievement, you may say).
Oh right.. that was last week but never mind.. chronological precision, i would like to believe, only trouble the trivial-minded. Plus, dates are so darn hard to remember.

So there, i have achieved what i had set out to do in the first place - and i really must attend to other things in my eventful life... i know parting 'tis such sweet sorrow and all, but still i really can't be here entertaining you all the time, (assuming of course, that 'you' exists at all..)





i have nothing to say, and i havve said it

Trivial Pursuits

Having stoically put up with an intolerable seven- day itch in Beijing, i find myself facing a cluttered desk again but having no more inclination to do serious work than i did before i left for the trip.

But if serious work is out of reach, then maybe i can be contented with trivial ones, which really isn't as bad as it first seems. Triviality is the bane of people aspiring to have their names etched in history books or whatnots, but is otherwise a very reliable source of comfort for the average joe.

And i would like to contend that no matter how successful or great a man can be, he can never fully escape the grasp of trivialities. For while saints have effectively circumvented sex, no man, great or otherwise, have yet discovered how to abstain from feeding oneself, and other such trivial, but necessary pursuits.

on a personal note, I would rather have a man inclined to trivialities than one who struts around looking terribly impressive and doing important, serious stuff , my reasoning being that since no one can be doing important stuff all the time, one should at least stop pretending to be so.

Why are people so uptight and perpetually complaining about our present-day moral decadence? As far as i can remember, this has gone on since forever, so it can't be all true.

Plus we probably seem like sexual Puritans to the Greeks, who said something along the lines of ' A woman for necessity, a boy for pleasure and a goat for ecstacy'.

All these are not gonna make much difference to the dear moral uplifters who insist on being guardians of our immortal souls, i know, but at least now we know where kids come from.

I was chatting with one of my friends some twenty minutes ago, when, having changed the topic to that of a girl he alleges i am interested in, he very thoughtfully reminded me that she is taken by someone who 'looks a hell lot better than you.... and can probably challenge you intellectually too..'.

You could have guessed that i am not best pleased with this piece of intelligence, for, apart from restoring very slightly, my sagging confidence in mine, it really wasn't very reassuring at all. Not that what he said isn't exactly true, but still....

Ah well.

I had initially planned to do something useful today, but i somehow managed to idle the entire day away.

I tried unsuccessfully, for about two hours this morning, to work on the second draft of my TOK essay, although i ended up doing everything but the essay. I realized that the mere thought of working on the essay provokes a psychological reaction akin to mentally turning green and vomiting voluminously. And it doesn't help to know this essay isn't going to be graded, so it doesn't matter whether its well written or not, or that most people can't tell the difference anyway.

I'm really not working as hard as i should be this year, but then again, some things just don't matter as much as they used to. I guess i have gotten a bit sick of our education system, because at every stage you learn that what you have been doing previously is not exactly true, until you realize that all you are doing is trading one set of lies for another. Honestly though, it is possible to play along and give the teachers what they want and get away with it, but this ceases to be amusing after a while, and i can't seem to convince myself that it is worth the effort nowadays.

This is probably the worst time to start feeling drained, but hopefully i will scrape through this two years and come out fine.

Yesterday was an absolutely horrible day

The rugby match we lost was such a shock to my system that i actually was tempted to check if i was dreaming. It turns out that i wasn't, because, to be honest, i can't imagine why i would dream the team into such a mess in the first place. As if conceding two penalties in the first 5 minutes isn't enough, we had something like 4 more penalties awarded against us, after we took the lead at 7-6! As to how it is at all possible to award half a dozen penalties against a team in a Cup's final, i must confess to being as puzzled as you are.

Okay to be fair, we might not have played superbly well, but we definitely did not deserve to lose either, and it wasn't so much the loss, which, incidentally is the third one in a row i have witnessed - i have never seen the school lift the title in this particular division, although i was told that they did just fine before i came ( no hasty conclusions please..)- as the manner in which we lost i that really stung.

But philosophy is adversity's sweet milk, so we can retire to a corner and comfort ourselves that winning is not everything, until we can afford to discard that notion, sometime next year, if and when we win the title back.

Having whittled Chelsea's massive 15 point lead to a mere 7 points, man utd fans like myself and not to mention a certain mr bates would be following the final stretch of this season with a bated breathe, if you would excuse the pun....

So today's match between united and the arses might no longer be the top of the table match it used to be a couple a years back, although we have to win this match if we are to have any chance at all for a shot at the title.

And if we have another scintillating performance from saha, rooney and nistelrooy, that just might just be possible, although i won't be putting my money where my mouth is.

I have never understood why some adults insist on treating kids like they are retarded or something. I was at this church this morning, they were offering a programme for kids in the neighbouring estates and the idea was to make the kids speak and improve their English.At this point, alert readers would get the drift and anticipate what is going to happen next, well, because, basically, this is so bloody common, if you excuse the language.

Anyway, coming back. I was with this group of primary 4 kids and a droopy looking lady and she was going through this book with them, something about an angry kid who miraculously turned happy after he spoke to his parents, which just makes you wonder what in hell parents are doing nowadays. I mean, not even retarded primary 1 kids would fall for this crap, and everyone knows that... erm, well, at least most kids know that but i really don't know if adults have been let in on the secret. But the point is that the book is so staggeringly, inconceivably S-t-u-p-i-d, that you would have expected her to engage the kids in a discussion about the over simplification of thhe issues in the book and get them to respond to it.

But as expected, she didn't.

Which means i have to start looking for something else to fulfill my Cas hours. Sigh

http://www.bash.org/?top pwns j00.

im sure all u pre-ib jennamen will remember the faithful chants of "Chairman Seow" last yr at our LDP in kluang.

am i ever going to hear such chants of "chairman koh" or "chairman X" again?

unlikely.

On fire

"Set a man a fire, he'll be warm for a day,
Set a man on fire, he'll be warm for life."

--------------------------------------------------
On another note, hurray for ronin (although its one day late)

The concert was quite good though, too bad for the idiots who sat down. For the misinformed, ronin's a local band who play nice "gay love songs".

Crazy Son!!!

So having come to grips with the sad and flatulent realisation that the holidays are coming to an end, I finally worked myself into a state of mind that would allow me to think about it without suffering a nervous breakdown.
The point of course, is that it wasn't really a break, not in the purest sense of the word. I mean, we are supposed to be having a break right, and I might be a bit old-fashioned here, but I have always thought breaks involve a fair amount of idling around with nothing important to do, which is an excellent way to spend time actually. I contend that no one who hasn't idled an afternoon away can seriously claim to have enjoyed life, but that's a different story. But noooo, the teachers must insist on loading us with enough work to erm, ' keep you occupied for the entire holidays'. I mean, phew but that was the most elaborate piece of anti-logic I have ever heard. And you don't want to hear about the others ( you seriously don't..)
So, now that having our hols occupied with homework is perfectly fine, I suggest that they take the fiction a step further and make us go school during the hols, for the purpose of refreshing us for the new term. This would also be to the advancement of education and humanity in general, becuse can you imagine all these youths idling their time away without doing anything productive.. ? Plus, imagine all the extra time we have for studying.
Yeah, I know we are supposed to be hard-working and diligent, you know the usual do-not-rest-on-your-laurels and all, but seriously, what are laurels for, except... maybe, for us to rest on .. a little..?

End of Days

I must have watched one of the lousiest movies ever produced in the Seen and Unseen universe yesterday, something about a black scientist trying desperately to stop a meteorite from crashing into the Earth and ending 4000 years of continual bungling the planet has suffered at the hands of humans. The bad guy was (gasp! surprise surprise !) a fat, drawling general. As a matter of fact, I have come to the general conclusion that there must be some correlation between the degree of villainy of a character and the size of his belly - I mean just look at Batman, James Bond and Mike Myers ( oh wait, Mike was the good guy....oh well...).
I did not finish the movie so I am unable to tell you whether the meteorite did succeed in its noble cause. But sigh, it is time to return to less cheerful thoughts..

Byronic Verses

Oh and Lord Byron apparently wrote the following rhyme in a lavatory cubicle, no doubt while offering his daily supplication to Cloaca the goddess of the bowel:

O Cloacina goddess of this place,
Look upon thy suppliants with thy smiling face;
Smooth and consistent let their offerings flow,
Neither too rashly swift nor too insolently slow.

What a man!

The End is G

nat: Whats the end of everything?

ken: The Apocalypse, Ragnarok, The End of Days,
The Final judgement, Armageddon....whatever

nat: er.... no, actually its G.

i love the way kids think

idlephotos.

Just a few random photos to lighten up the mood. feel free to comment!

Oh and i found out that Francis Bacon rose to prominence by betraying his friends, so he would no doubt have known that knowledge is power through the ripe lessons of experience. So he might not have been drunk or pompous, at all, when he uttered it ; although the highest compliment i can accord to him right now is that he would have no doubt made a businessman par excellence had his birth been delayed for a couple of centuries.

On an entirely unrelated note, i can't resist putting forth my humble opinion regarding the recent exam results. That the top scorer this year did not do quite as well as the one last year must come as a huge tremendous blow of disappointment to the general public ( at least that's what I think... after all we have been spoiled for the past two years by students achieving an ever increasing number of A's). I mean, we all know that two scores ( gasp ! literally! ) of A's does really sound quite ludicrous, but it makes us feel so incredibly good.... But never mind that.

Anyway, this is symptomatic of the education system ( and i mean education systems all around the world in general, nothing personal see ) - it seems to me that education has more or less degenerated into a race in which the main, no wait, only, objective is to score as many A's as possible. Where this is not possible, when there are no public examinations for example, the students generally measure themselves against other students and some even have the audacity to equate education with ... with... ahh...okay... a battle ( there I have said it ! phew). I don't mean to be contentious but seriously, whatever in hell is the problem ?! Has the proud business of educating oneself and culturing one's mind degenerated so much it is now regarded as nothing but exams ?

If someone would be so kind as to enlighten me on this subject, I would be infinitely obliged to you, whoever you may be.

Darn. I just found out that this blog can have hardly any claims to originality as well now, adding to an already impressive list mentioned in an earlier post. As a matter of fact, the words idle and ramblings are so wildly popular among bloggers that I almost feel sorry for adding another one to this extravagant buffet of idleramblings.

Anyway, I just discovered after attending a certain seminar that I have an innate dislike for business mantras. They are usually so indelibly meaningless, that I suspect that they must have been created by a group of linguitic terrorists who sat around a round table (pun intended), deliberating on the latest piece of imbecility to inflict upon an unsuspecting public. I know I am being terribly biased here, but that's okay 0 a perfectly objective view would be so ... boring.

I mean, catchphrases are usually bad enough ( catchphrases ! ..... Jesus, I mean, just look at the word !) but why anyone would want to put on a public display of idiocy in the name of serious business is just beyond my comprehension. To be fair, it wasn't always like this; things actually started going downhill when a certain gentleman by the name of Francis Bacon proclaimed that 'Knowledge is power' which has since been so overused and overabused that even Frankie must be turning in his grave, besides unleashing a whole Pandora's box of other such phrases .... Since I am feeling particularly benevolent today, I will spare the poor reader from other examples. I also imagine Frankie must have been feeling a little pompous when he said that, or else he was drunk, but here I digress.

So at this seminar I attended very recently, the speaker was proudly proclaiming that the brain is truth-seeking and thats why it is important to feed the brain with the necessary knowledge in order to achieve business success. This was followed by a couple of minutes of silence, in which we marvelled at the nature of the profound truth that we have just been privy to. I mean, that is some revelation, right up there with ' Assume and you make and ass out of u and me', or something along that line. All these, of course, can be conveniently found in books titled ' 10 Easy Steps to Business Success'. But I might be wrong. You have to be pretty good at business to publish, sell and laugh your way to the bank even with books like that, so they might have a point after all.

But never mind, English is nothing if not malleable, and if a language is capable of such beauty as in ' Good night sweet prince, and flights of angels sing thee to thy rest', I am sure it is capable of accommodating mantras to business success as well.

Global Citizens...

Well today something really interesting happened in the audi after chapel.

"Jennamen, toda- and ladies, today i'm going to brief you on WOW 2006."

Somehow im reminded of a certain survey we had to complete late last year. Here's a little post off acxis (mine and my split personality's inspiration).

"Right, so theres a lil briffing in the audi in the morning and me thinks that all they're gonna do is tell us how to do the "online survey" and our individual passwords and stuff.

Nope.

Here are some quotes

"Jennamen, i hope that you'll give intelligent responses and not... your personal response."

"You can make negative remarks... but do it in a positive way."

"Jennamen, we completely trust that you will take this test seriously and make intelligent responses"

"Holistic education... CCAs excel... Commited and innovative teachers.... incredible school spirit"

--------------------

On TWO occasions, we were told to give "intelligent" responses and not our "personal response".
"For the sake of the school..."
"Survery conducted by non academic staff to make sure that no one will influence your decisions"

Oh em gee, we had such a difficult time controlling our laughter and i think the teachers didnt mind coz (some) thought the briefing was friggin ridiculous too."


Oh btw, quote of the day:

"my dad got robbed as he came home from malaysia last night.

by the police."


Oh i do have some comments about a specific phrase often heard nowadays, but i'll leave it to next time.

It goes something like this: "...in the interest of class spirit..."

First Post

After having dallied for a day, I finally decided to work on my virgin post, although I have already been beaten to it by my more industrious, erm, split personality. I know the concept of 'working on' something is hardly fitting for a blog that unabashedly claims to be nothing but idle ramblings, but ah well, everyone has to start off somewhere...

This blog, after all, makes no claims to profundity, or to having any intellectual value, it is merely, as the title so subtly suggests .... idle ramblings, borne of an essentially idle mind. It might taken as a testament to my inane boredom, but for some reason or other, i have decided to start a blog with my split personality and dutifully update it periodically forever and ever hereafter .. amen. Okay that was a lie. Obviously. No one should keep a blog, or a diary, and vow to update it periodically, because it would inevitably degenerate into a mechanical account of one's life, which is exactly what a blog should not be ( such humility .... tsk tsk .. really..). Or ( but do keep this to yourself won't you? Its so ... embarassing ), I might just be making excuses for my laziness...

So thats about it this time. I know, as an opening, this is hardly ' Four score and seven years ago... ' or ' Friends. Romans and countrymen', but this must suffice for whatever humble purpose I have sought to achieve with this short post ( which is to say, nothing). Plus, i really must get back to my game now.

Disclaimer

Constitution of http://idleramblers.blogspot.com


Article 1 - Nature of http://idleramblers.blogspot.com
The administration and users of http://idleramblers.blogspot.com do hereby declare the above website to be strictly friendly banter between myself and my split personality.


Article 2 - Legal infringement
Should any statement made either in haste, anger or immaturity, they should not be used against the owner of the statement in any legal manner. (Refer to Article 1)


Article 3 - ...
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Article 14 - Freedom of Speech, Assembly, and Association
(1) Subject to clauses (2) and (3)
(a) every citizen of Singapore has the right to freedom of speech and expression;
(b) all citizens of Singapore have the right to assemble peaceably and without arms; and
(c) all citizens of Singapore have the right to form associations.

(2) Parliament may by law impose
(a) on the rights conferred by clause (1)(a), such restrictions as it considers necessary or expedient in the interest of the security of Singapore or any part thereof, friendly relations with other countries, public order or morality and restrictions designed to protect the privileges of Parliament or to provide against contempt of court, defamation or incitement to any offence;
(b) on the right conferred by clause (1)(B), such restrictions as it considers necessary or expedient in the interest of the security of Singapore or any part thereof or public order; and
(c) on the right conferred by clause (1)(c), such restrictions as it considers necessary or expedient in the interest of the security of Singapore or any part thereof, public order or morality.

(3) Restrictions on the right to form associations conferred by clause (1)(c) may also be imposed by any law relating to labor or education.