I am undescribably happy right now. But also terrified. Sometimes, you need an emotional rollercoaster to realize how fragile your pride is, and how, in the grand scheme of things, we sometimes get credit for dumb luck.

When you play poker, and you go all-in with AA against a hand like KK, the one with the inferior hand is almost a no-hoper. The odds are something like 5:1 against KK. But once in every six hands, you will get burned with AA, even though you made all the right calls, you made all the right plays, you sucked the other player into an all-in and you are almost certain to make a big killing.

Sometimes you just don't. Its not your fault. Its not Fate's fault. Probability dictates that you will lose, on average, one in every six hands. There is nothing you can do, because you made all the best plays that is humanly possible, short of actually cheating and looking at the next five cards. But it doesn't change the fact that, at the end of the round, your opponent is the one stacking your chips.

The good thing about poker though, is the fact that almost everyone at the table will recognize that you have been sucked-out and you know that you could not have possibly avoided it, that you would have done exactly the same thing given another try, and hope that someone up there doesn't have it in for you.

Real life, though, is so much more complicated. Exams, and probably university applications probably depends as much on dumb luck as all-inning on a coin-flip hand. Sometimes you get it, and sometimes you don't. But with your entire future, and not ten dollars, dependent on whether you read the question correctly, or whether you impressed an interviewer who on another day might not have been impressed, things become really scary.

Two days back, I was really upset with myself and how the previous exams went. But right now, I really could not give a damn, because I have got to where I really wanted.

But there are casualties. There are bound to be people who are left out alone, when everyone else is celebrating. Because no matter how good things might seem overall, for every five wins, there will be a boy sitting all alone because he got sucked out on. And for the rest of us, those who made it, but who do not know why, we stare and say nothing. Because it could easily have been one of us.

I have been an arrogant and cocky bastard over the past years, believing that if you are good enough, you don't blame luck for anything. But when the results are so terrifyingly real, when you come to face the fact that you got into the university you wanted so badly because you lucked out big time, and that you could have been really suicidal if things have gone the other way. It brings you to your senses.

There but for the grace of God, go I.